Toxic Relationships

Sometimes we subject ourselves to toxic relationships, and carry on in pain despite all the signs. A toxic relationship creates sadness and unnecessary drama, interferes with our everyday enjoyment of life, and ruins our relationships with others. Having been in this kind of a situation numerous times, I can truly say that I was the instigator, and the magnet for this one-way love, and trust me, if this were not a one-way love, it wouldn't be so painful.

Some people want you to succeed only as long as you never surpass them. The first step on the path to greatness is identifying those toxic individuals, and cutting off all communication. Respect yourself to decide that you deserve BETTER! It's never too late to walk away from the person who dares to hurt you...

I love you.

Beauty

Beauty isn't about fitting or standing out, being a certain size, or always having the perfect hair day. Beauty is defined by our kindness to others, by our ability to give a helping hand, to take a moment and listen to someone's story, to reach out and support other human beings in need. Beauty shines through our skin when we laugh, it radiates in our eyes when we look at our loved ones, and it is what makes us unforgettable. Take a moment to look into the mirror today, and tell yourself "I am beautiful and I love and respect myself!"

Giving and Generosity

To give without feeling depleted is to give without expectations to receive anything in return. Often, we are generous with others, but when we are under-appreciated, our world crumbles. A true giving spirit is calm and collected. A generous person doesn't have room in his or her heart for grudges, because he or she understands that a good deed never goes unanswered.

Not everyone will treat you with respect you deserve, and that is okay. You don't need anyone's approval to keep doing good deeds, and you certainly don't have to stop respecting the persons who don't reciprocate. Learn your lesson and move on, and that good deed will return to you from a different source. Like in business, one thing goes on sale, and you "lose a little", but then you "make up" for it on the regular-price items. It's the balance of life. Start becoming aware of all the blessings around you, so you don't end up going through life constantly feeling like you are giving with no return. No one can take your power away, so why hand that power to others?

Do good, give, spend time, educate, care for others, give positive advice, love and cherish. If this is your intention, it will always be rewarded.

In Honor of Mom

At 5:05pm on September 29th, I lost my beloved mother, my best friend, my world, my everything. She was 59 years old. My mother died in my arms after a two and a half year battle with the most aggressive type of brain tumor - grade IV glioblastoma. I have been through surgeries, radiation, chemo, endless poking with needles for blood draws and injections, countless trips to the hospital, physical therapy, speech therapy, wheelchairs, and 5am wake-up times. 

I would be lying if I said I have had a good night's rest in the past years... But the last 48 hours have been surreal. It still feels like a dream - I was by my mother's side for 2 days straight, without getting up from the bed. I pushed her hospital bed close to the bed I slept in, and enveloped her in my love and warm embrace. Last night, my mother's best friends Claudio and Marc were there with me, as I sang songs to her, while we all said our goodbyes. She passed 4 times her last night, but came back into her body, and resumed breathing. 

Mom couldn't move, or talk, and she didn't have any food or water for 5 days, but was still going strong without life support or any fluids. The hospice nurses confirmed my disbelief - this was unseen strength for any patient they have ever worked with! She was holding on for me.

The last moments I had with my mom were unforgettable. I heard her last breath as I held her tight and told her how much I loved her. I told her I'm sorry I couldn't save her, but I did all that I could.

We had a beautiful celebration of life for my mother at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills. I had her music playing in the church, everyone came dressed in all white, and the preacher sang a sermon in Russian for an hour. She was at ease, and is no longer suffering. She was beautiful...

Last night, Maria and I were going through Margarita's things, and packing clothes for donations. This paper with mom's affirmations was with some old CDs and address books from ten years ago, or so. I threw it in the garbage, but then quickly retrieved it because it looked like a love note. Incredible. Simply incredible to find this.

I love you, mom.

I am Worth Loving

You don't have to EARN love, just like you don't have to earn the right to breathe. You are lovable because you exist. You are worth loving, and as you love others, they will mirror this feeling onto you. ❤️ P.S. I love you.

Life is Beautiful!

There is a cashier at the Hollywood Whole Foods Market that I always get in line to see - Alex. He is a tall, white-haired elderly Russian man, probably in his late sixties. This man used to work at the Sunset and Fairfax Rite Aid when I was still a teenager - this is when I first started chatting with him at the register. The other day he looked very sad when I came up. 

When I asked Alex what was wrong, he admitted that he was bored with life, and felt like he is missing out. "Have you been to Europe?" He asked me. "Sure, Europe is very refreshing and full of interesting places to explore!" "Well, I haven't. I haven't seen many things, and I can't get a long vacation. I feel like my life is terrible." "Life is beautiful, Alex! Don't ever say otherwise! You are so lucky you live in the USA, you are so lucky you are healthy! You have to be grateful you are employed, look at this beautiful store! Look at these nice people, and clean environment! Be happy!" A smile graced his face. "5 minutes with you, and everything just changed! I can't believe it, you just breathed life into me again, you're absolutely right! I'm healthy, I'm working, I can't believe it, you really changed my whole mood!"

Sometimes when people grow older, retire, get weaker, they don't feel appreciated, especially when they see bustling life around them... Please breathe life into those who need your affirmation. It will make you happy, too!

"You can't be everything to everyone."

I had a favorite marketing professor in college, who once said something that stuck with me, and resonated deeply within my being. "You can't be everything to everyone." I always repeat this affirmation when I am feeling lonely, down, not worthy enough, anxious, or disappointed. There are billions of people on this glorious planet, billions of beautiful, talented, intelligent, and successful people. No matter how famous, interesting, sexy, fit, talented, rich, popular, or successful you you are, there is someone who may have surpassed you in the eyes of another, and that is OK. 

When I remind myself of this, I feel a relief, as if a weight is lifted off my shoulders. How great it feels to know that I don't need to compare myself to others to feel good about myself! How easy it is to work when I know I don't need to be as big as some brands or as rich as some businesspeople, or as beautiful as a some women to be the center of my own thriving universe. 

I release any resentment towards those who didn't want to date me, I release any resentment towards those who didn't befriend me. Those who are with me are with me for a reason, and I am grateful for having this awareness, to keep me balanced, and alive!

5 Ways to Improve Your Kid's Childhood Experience, and Teach Kindness

Everything I have learned in life has been a stepping stone to my current state of well-being, prosperity and balance. I am a constant learner, and am always open to self-improvement, even now, as an adult. Children get most of their ideas about themselves and the world around them by what the adults in their life say and do, so it is important to be fully aware of the message you are giving to your little ones. In this short blog entry, I will give you some wonderful ways to nourish and encourage your children's creativity, promote kindness, and engage in positive activities that you both will enjoy and treasure as cherished moments! I do these activities now, as an adult, so this will be excellent advice for people of all ages.

1. Cook Something Healthy

Making healthy food daily is an absolute must in my life - my food nourishes my mind and body. Give your children a chance to participate in food preparation, and they will take responsibility and pride in their task. Small tasks such as washing the veggies or ripping lettuce leaves for the salad allow your kids to feel like they have contributed to making the meal, and teach them how to become efficient and autonomous. Sharing food is a beautiful way to show love and care, and I often make enough food for my family, as well as the neighbors. My neighbor is a doctor, and works late, so I often invite her for dinner. I also have an elderly woman on the cul-de-sac, and I feel that it is a privilege for me to bring her food. A wonderful weekend activity is making sandwiches for the homeless, and passing them out. Make food with love, share food with loved ones, and teach your children to share and care.

2. Make Bird Friends

I currently live in a house with a large back yard, but I have grown up in an apartment, and have learned to live comfortably and efficiently in a small, urban space. I have a dog and a cat whom I love very much, but if your living conditions don't allow for pets, this advice will be wonderful. It can be challenging for parents to tell their kids they can't have pets because of space or time constrictions, so a great alternative is to hang up hummingbird feeders filled with nectar, and watch these lovely beauties come to sip their sweet nectar. Here is a photo I took yesterday of the bird flying up to drink - they are truly majestic, and therapeutic. Making the nectar is easy - it's a 1-cup sugar to 4-cup water ratio. Simply bring this mixture to a boil, cool, and pour into the feeder. I make enough for the week, and store the rest in the fridge - it's much more convenient, also. This is a wonderful activity to do with the kids - they will love it! Another great idea is to put out feed for the larger birds, especially if you have colorful birds in your neighborhood, like I do. I buy bird feed in bulk, and put it out for them in the flat bowl feeder I have in the back yard. It's great to know that even little creatures can benefit from your kind gesture.

3. Grow Something
Buy a plant that the child will have the responsibility to water. If you have a chance to start a small
garden together, there is nothing more fun than digging in the dirt while taking care of your vegetables or flowers! Children will take great responsibility in doing their part to water veggies, or flowers, and proudly display their labor when it is time to harvest! This is a great activity that will beautify the home, and will also teach the child the values of farm-to-table lifestyle.

4. Volunteer
Lending a helping hand to others is a divine privilege, and a task that will not only fill your children's heart with joy, but will serve as a wonderful reminder of how important each and every one of us is on this planet. I've been caring for my grandmother for the past few years, and one day I thought of
the countless number of elderly people who spend their lives at retirement homes, and rarely get visitors. I went to the dollar store, and picked up puzzles, coloring books, crossword puzzles, crayons, beads, glue, and a couple of poster boards, and showed up at a retirement home. The feeling of joy these wonderful elders experienced made me so happy! Your children will enjoy interacting with elders, and vice versa! I volunteer with kids at an orphanage in Mexico, and the days spent with them have been as rewarding for me, as they have been for them. Gratitude and appreciation creates children who mature into appreciative and self-sufficient adults.

5. Help the Homeless

Vacation season is approaching, and many of us will travel with our families. I frequently travel for work, and spend a third of the month in a hotel room, but since my company manufactures skincare, I bring my own products with me.  Did you know that you are paying daily for the toiletries in your hotel room, and they are yours to use and take? Give your children the task of collecting all unused shampoos, conditioners, soaps, and small toothpastes each day, and putting them away into their suitcase. In six months to a year, the child will have a large box of travel-sized items to donate to the local homeless shelter/mission. These small toiletries may seem like meaningless items to most people, but every little bit counts for the less fortunate. I regularly send monetary donations to charities, but since children don't have the financial ability to help, teaching them to help in this way will get them on the path to sharing and giving. When generosity becomes second nature, so do gratitude and abundance.

Be well, live abundantly, and give abundantly!

Sending Love From the Heart

From an early age, I learned by the actions of my mother, to send thank you notes and letters, instead of calls or emails. I love to write, and have a special box with stationary, greeting cards, and thank you notes on hand, so I can concentrate on writing a special message, not on running and picking a card ASAP. My other favorite activity is cooking, and I have several notebooks with clipped recipes I have been collecting since the age of 16. Some recipes are typed and added by me or grandma, and some are trimmed out of food magazines. Life is beautiful when you can put down your words on paper. Whether you keep the notebooks you write in, or send letters to loved ones, you can heal your life, and the life of others with words from the heart. 

Book Review: "The Paris Architect" by Charles Belfoure

Those who know me, usually see me carry 2 or 3 books in my purse... Last month I switched books, leaving "The Paris Architect" on my nightstand, but I revisited it, and finished it in two days! Belfoure's heart wrenching novel so intensely drew me in, that I couldn't put it down, no matter how much I tried. 

This book is an incredibly intense, heartfelt story set in wartime Paris, of a young Frenchman who didn't consider himself a good Christian, but agreed to conspire in a plot to hide Jews from the Gestapo.  The dangers Jews faced, the conditions they had to live in, the persecution, the pain of families being separated, and the courage of the gentiles hiding and rescuing people they hardly knew just because they were fellow human beings. This book will open your heart, and prove that people are inherently good, they can nurture, love and care for others, no matter the religion. Tears rolled down my face as I read the last chapter, and a warm feeling of pride for the human race came over me. Who could have known that an architect could write in such a genius manner. Bravo, Mr. Belfoure!