Self Care - Acupuncture

How well do you take care of your body and mind? I, for one, make my own well-being my #1 priority. I have an intense work schedule, and I take my personal health commitments as I take my work-seriously! This means 5 sessions a week with the best personal trainer in town, and 2 sessions a week with my amazing acupuncturist! On days like today, I get to work at 2pm, but it's a loss I'm prepared for. I'll be working from home later tonight. 

When my mom and I started our company, we were working all day, every day, 7 days a week. We didn't have money or time to get massages, acupuncture, go to the gym, have a trainer, or eat organic food. It was go, go, go, all the time, without stopping. In 2007, I was finishing college, working at a spa as a receptionist in the evenings and on weekends, going to beauty school on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and dancing in a my mom's dance troupe on weekend nights for some cash. That's basically how we could afford groceries, because all the money was going into the business. 

I remember we used to sit and fill bottles with serums and cremes all evening, and stick labels on them, so that we could drive to San Diego at 5am, to teach a class at a beauty school at 8am, and hopefully sell something. Those were really good times, and, most importantly, I spent those crazy times with my mom... she never got the luxury to rest until she got cancer, and she wasn't used to lying down, that was new to her. She wanted to keep going. Now, I value every opportunity I get to spend time and money on ME. I know she looks down on me and oh happy to see me doing so well, and taking care of myself like I have been caring for her for the last 3 years we had together.

Why People Tell Me I'm The Strongest Person They Know

Hi, my name is Dasha, and many people tell me I am the strongest person they know.

It all started on April 28th, 2013 when my mother had a seizure, and was unexpectedly diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor the size of an orange.  She was given 5 weeks to live, but I managed to pull myself together and prolong her life by two and a half years. Today, I sit in her bedroom, look at her face as she sleeps, and cry. She may even know it at this point, but the doctors say we have less than 3 months left together before she leaves me for good.

This is my story:

I have lived an average life, some would say. I came to the United States as a 12 year-old kid, after spending 5 years being raised by my father's mom, in my mom's absence. Mom was busy making money in Los Angeles, and sending every penny to me in Moscow. I was her pride and joy, and even when times were tough, I was taking English lessons, tutoring, vocal coaching and piano lessons. Our family motto was always "there's always something to do".

The first few years in America were strange, because I felt so disconnected from my "new" mom. We lived in a $300 single apartment on Fairfax, just below Wilshire. Mom worked all day, and I learned how to cook all on my own. Soon our grandma joined us, and we had to vacate the single apartment, because the landlord couldn't have 3 people in such a tiny space. With all the money we had saved up, we were fortunate enough to secure a down payment of $17k on a mortgage on a condo in the Hollywood Hills. At that time, in 1999, that beautiful place was $169k, prices that today are laughable. That condo is the most beautiful, and beloved space I have ever lived in, and it was our home for 12 years.

Did I mention that I lived an average life? It was a very busy life, and some may say I grew up too quickly. I started working at the early age of 14, and at one point, I was getting my bachelor's of science in Marketing, working as a receptionist at a spa, going to beauty school for my esthetician diploma, helping my mom launch the skincare brand, and dancing in a gypsy dance troupe at night on the weekends. In fact, we took such a long time to get the business off the ground, I had to sleep in a room full of cardboard boxes filled with cosmetic jars, lids, sprayers, and bottles for the first 3 years. Those first 3 years were the toughest - we literally filled bottles and jars all night, and in the mornings,  woke up at 5am, packed the car, and drive to a beauty school to do a demo. We often drove to San Diego, Lancaster, Las Vegas, San Francisco, and anywhere else they would allow us to do a demo. Some days we made $500, and some days $80, and that covered our gas and lunch... but we were always together, and every day was special and fun.  That' how we got our start, and met our very first clients. 

The same clients are still with us today, almost 9 years later.

As I am typing this, tears roll down my eyes, because things will never go back to the way they used to be. I may never hear my mom speak to me again, and that is painful. My mom had the most beautiful voice in the world. She was a professional singer, and she has put out some incredible albums. Now music helps me... you know how? The first day we transferred her into the hospital bed, she refused to eat. She shut her teeth, and wouldn't allow me to feed her. After many failed attempts, I sat down on a chair next to her and, shaking in tears, started to sing. I sang all the Russian songs I knew, one after another, crying, but with a smile on my face...and she opened her mouth, and ate! Her head was rolling to the side, so I had to prop it up with my left hand while I spoon fed her with the right. That's how we still eat. She falls asleep sometimes while I feed her, and that scares me, so I have to quickly wake her or literally force her to spit the food out, so she doesn't choke... and it takes me a good hour to feed her like this, but it's the only way. While she eats, I tell her about my day at work, and even though it hurts, I tell her she needs to get well soon so she can come back to the office. I know it won't happen, and I'm sure she knows it as well, but she loves to be at work so much,  that I can see that thought literally breathing the life-force into her. It is a sense of purpose that makes life worth while, worth wanting to stay alive for. 

I sit like this with her, while she moans in confusion, unable to move or speak, and talk to her, sing to her, and feed her. I only stopped singing once - when I started a song we usually sang in a duet, and she realized she couldn't sing along. A tear ran down her cheek, and I understood this was painful for her, too.

Grandma is 85 now. She is frail, and using a walker after her recent fall and hip surgery. She can't be in the same room with mom, because the sight of mom being so sick is too much for her to handle. It's ok, I guess... different people cope in different ways. 

As for me, I don't have any other family - it's just me, mom, and grandma. I have promised myself to keep strong, and never give up, because for the past two and a half years I have been responsible for the lives of 3 people. In my hands lay the duties of running a corporation and providing enough business to keep my employees fed, taking care of my sick mom and elderly grandma, staying grounded, positive and healthy, looking youthful and radiant as the brand ambassador of a skincare company, and making sure I have no regrets.

Many people tell me I am the strongest person they know. Perhaps, and I'm sure life has a beautiful plan for me.

Life is Beautiful!

There is a cashier at the Hollywood Whole Foods Market that I always get in line to see - Alex. He is a tall, white-haired elderly Russian man, probably in his late sixties. This man used to work at the Sunset and Fairfax Rite Aid when I was still a teenager - this is when I first started chatting with him at the register. The other day he looked very sad when I came up. 

When I asked Alex what was wrong, he admitted that he was bored with life, and felt like he is missing out. "Have you been to Europe?" He asked me. "Sure, Europe is very refreshing and full of interesting places to explore!" "Well, I haven't. I haven't seen many things, and I can't get a long vacation. I feel like my life is terrible." "Life is beautiful, Alex! Don't ever say otherwise! You are so lucky you live in the USA, you are so lucky you are healthy! You have to be grateful you are employed, look at this beautiful store! Look at these nice people, and clean environment! Be happy!" A smile graced his face. "5 minutes with you, and everything just changed! I can't believe it, you just breathed life into me again, you're absolutely right! I'm healthy, I'm working, I can't believe it, you really changed my whole mood!"

Sometimes when people grow older, retire, get weaker, they don't feel appreciated, especially when they see bustling life around them... Please breathe life into those who need your affirmation. It will make you happy, too!

"You can't be everything to everyone."

I had a favorite marketing professor in college, who once said something that stuck with me, and resonated deeply within my being. "You can't be everything to everyone." I always repeat this affirmation when I am feeling lonely, down, not worthy enough, anxious, or disappointed. There are billions of people on this glorious planet, billions of beautiful, talented, intelligent, and successful people. No matter how famous, interesting, sexy, fit, talented, rich, popular, or successful you you are, there is someone who may have surpassed you in the eyes of another, and that is OK. 

When I remind myself of this, I feel a relief, as if a weight is lifted off my shoulders. How great it feels to know that I don't need to compare myself to others to feel good about myself! How easy it is to work when I know I don't need to be as big as some brands or as rich as some businesspeople, or as beautiful as a some women to be the center of my own thriving universe. 

I release any resentment towards those who didn't want to date me, I release any resentment towards those who didn't befriend me. Those who are with me are with me for a reason, and I am grateful for having this awareness, to keep me balanced, and alive!

5 Ways to Improve Your Kid's Childhood Experience, and Teach Kindness

Everything I have learned in life has been a stepping stone to my current state of well-being, prosperity and balance. I am a constant learner, and am always open to self-improvement, even now, as an adult. Children get most of their ideas about themselves and the world around them by what the adults in their life say and do, so it is important to be fully aware of the message you are giving to your little ones. In this short blog entry, I will give you some wonderful ways to nourish and encourage your children's creativity, promote kindness, and engage in positive activities that you both will enjoy and treasure as cherished moments! I do these activities now, as an adult, so this will be excellent advice for people of all ages.

1. Cook Something Healthy

Making healthy food daily is an absolute must in my life - my food nourishes my mind and body. Give your children a chance to participate in food preparation, and they will take responsibility and pride in their task. Small tasks such as washing the veggies or ripping lettuce leaves for the salad allow your kids to feel like they have contributed to making the meal, and teach them how to become efficient and autonomous. Sharing food is a beautiful way to show love and care, and I often make enough food for my family, as well as the neighbors. My neighbor is a doctor, and works late, so I often invite her for dinner. I also have an elderly woman on the cul-de-sac, and I feel that it is a privilege for me to bring her food. A wonderful weekend activity is making sandwiches for the homeless, and passing them out. Make food with love, share food with loved ones, and teach your children to share and care.

2. Make Bird Friends

I currently live in a house with a large back yard, but I have grown up in an apartment, and have learned to live comfortably and efficiently in a small, urban space. I have a dog and a cat whom I love very much, but if your living conditions don't allow for pets, this advice will be wonderful. It can be challenging for parents to tell their kids they can't have pets because of space or time constrictions, so a great alternative is to hang up hummingbird feeders filled with nectar, and watch these lovely beauties come to sip their sweet nectar. Here is a photo I took yesterday of the bird flying up to drink - they are truly majestic, and therapeutic. Making the nectar is easy - it's a 1-cup sugar to 4-cup water ratio. Simply bring this mixture to a boil, cool, and pour into the feeder. I make enough for the week, and store the rest in the fridge - it's much more convenient, also. This is a wonderful activity to do with the kids - they will love it! Another great idea is to put out feed for the larger birds, especially if you have colorful birds in your neighborhood, like I do. I buy bird feed in bulk, and put it out for them in the flat bowl feeder I have in the back yard. It's great to know that even little creatures can benefit from your kind gesture.

3. Grow Something
Buy a plant that the child will have the responsibility to water. If you have a chance to start a small
garden together, there is nothing more fun than digging in the dirt while taking care of your vegetables or flowers! Children will take great responsibility in doing their part to water veggies, or flowers, and proudly display their labor when it is time to harvest! This is a great activity that will beautify the home, and will also teach the child the values of farm-to-table lifestyle.

4. Volunteer
Lending a helping hand to others is a divine privilege, and a task that will not only fill your children's heart with joy, but will serve as a wonderful reminder of how important each and every one of us is on this planet. I've been caring for my grandmother for the past few years, and one day I thought of
the countless number of elderly people who spend their lives at retirement homes, and rarely get visitors. I went to the dollar store, and picked up puzzles, coloring books, crossword puzzles, crayons, beads, glue, and a couple of poster boards, and showed up at a retirement home. The feeling of joy these wonderful elders experienced made me so happy! Your children will enjoy interacting with elders, and vice versa! I volunteer with kids at an orphanage in Mexico, and the days spent with them have been as rewarding for me, as they have been for them. Gratitude and appreciation creates children who mature into appreciative and self-sufficient adults.

5. Help the Homeless

Vacation season is approaching, and many of us will travel with our families. I frequently travel for work, and spend a third of the month in a hotel room, but since my company manufactures skincare, I bring my own products with me.  Did you know that you are paying daily for the toiletries in your hotel room, and they are yours to use and take? Give your children the task of collecting all unused shampoos, conditioners, soaps, and small toothpastes each day, and putting them away into their suitcase. In six months to a year, the child will have a large box of travel-sized items to donate to the local homeless shelter/mission. These small toiletries may seem like meaningless items to most people, but every little bit counts for the less fortunate. I regularly send monetary donations to charities, but since children don't have the financial ability to help, teaching them to help in this way will get them on the path to sharing and giving. When generosity becomes second nature, so do gratitude and abundance.

Be well, live abundantly, and give abundantly!

Sending Love From the Heart

From an early age, I learned by the actions of my mother, to send thank you notes and letters, instead of calls or emails. I love to write, and have a special box with stationary, greeting cards, and thank you notes on hand, so I can concentrate on writing a special message, not on running and picking a card ASAP. My other favorite activity is cooking, and I have several notebooks with clipped recipes I have been collecting since the age of 16. Some recipes are typed and added by me or grandma, and some are trimmed out of food magazines. Life is beautiful when you can put down your words on paper. Whether you keep the notebooks you write in, or send letters to loved ones, you can heal your life, and the life of others with words from the heart. 

Sorting Out Your Priorities

I'm always amazed at the number of people I constantly meet, who feel drawn to my ideas! I just returned from Miami, this weekend I will be teaching in NY, and everything I put my mind to is a success because of one simple reason - I have my priorities sorted out correctly. 

So many people live their lives in constant stress, because money is their main priority. Getting more money, spending more money, having money only to help others, having money only to show your status, spending money on others because they have spent on you, believing money is difficult to come by, etc. 

Are you allowing yourself to have fun with your money? Why not? It's just a means of exchange, that's all it is. This constant stress is what I feel, has created cancer in my mother's perfectly healthy and beautiful body, and (adversely) has helped me realize how to set my own priorities. For the past 2 years that I have been taking care of my mother and grandmother, while running a corporation, I have realized that prosperity thinking has nothing to do with marketing, making money, or having any special system of living. Prosperity comes when we realize that we are stable and have all the wealth we need when we know our next breath is provided for us. Just in the same matter, if your bills are paid, and you are safely asleep in a comfortable bed at night, trust that your stress will not aid you to make more money. 

I am completely aware that I don't have the ability to cure my mother's cancer, and this doesn't mean I have to break down and mourn her illness. Having my priorities sorted out, means that I take care of my family first, uphold the integrity of my business, take care of my own mental state by releasing anxiety, engaging in positive activities, helping the less fortunate, and doing my best not to project into the future. Who knows what is going to happen next? Just make the best of the time and sort out your priorities.

Home Is Where the Peace Is

"Wow! That's quite a lot of books you have there!" - exclaimed my friend as she sat in my car. I looked back, and giggled - I had almost forgotten that the back seat of my car looked like a bookshelf- I'd gotten so used to it over the years. I carry a book in my purse, I keep another book on my desk at work, and you should see my bed stands! Books have a very special place in my heart, because they come from a place of love, and carry associations that warm my heart.

While my mother was getting adjusted in the USA, I was raised my my grandmother, my father's mother, in Moscow, Russia. As you can imagine, the only ladies who ever came into our house were in their 60s, just like my grandmother, and (since fancy candy was scarce, and they were all engineers and abhorred pointless dolls) I always received books as gifts. My birthdays were filled with books, all signed by friends and classmates, and those gifts were all carefully arranged in the "library" that my grandfather built himself in one of the hallway hollows. This was a miniature room with a chair, and bookshelves that towered from floor to ceiling. Yes, I was the youngest proprietor of a library, and that was my safe haven.

I had severe problems with my kidneys when I was a child, so I spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital. I remember my hospital roommates always being rude, so I tried not to leave my room for a long time. My roommates had stolen from me, destroyed my belongings, and eaten the food my grandmother had so lovingly prepared for me, so instead of leaving the room  to play, a stayed and read. I read about Egyptian pharaohs, about the Incas and Mayas, I read all of Chekhov and Pushkin, Lermontov and Grimm brothers. I loved Dumas, and imagined the 3 Musketeers fencing their nemesis with épées in my hospital room! 

My days were filled with inpatient appointments, and reading, and one day, my grandmother came in the evening and announced that we were going home! I was discharged, and I could sleep in my own bed! It was about 7pm, and already dark outside when we left, and I remember how the snow crunched under my boots, and how great the fresh, cold air felt inside my nostrils! It was freezing cold, but all I wanted was an ice-cold can of coke and real food. Everything tasted delicious when I was home - even the air had a different taste, and it was amazing! 

Years later, I am re-living my hospital experience with my mom. While she undergoes her doctor's visits, lab work,  MRIs, avastin infusions, ultrasounds, and chemo preparations, I read, and float away on the loving clouds of books. We typically spend 2 to 5 hours a day at the hospital, about 3 times a week, and there is no better time than the moment we both know we are done for the day, and are going home! That moment that she tells me what she feels like having for dinner, and how extremely famished she is (and there is no way she is eating anywhere other than home!) 

There is no place like home. No place that can comfort you, and make you feel well and healthy. That's why home is where our peace is. I sincerely hope you all have spent a beautiful Holiday with your families, and give gratitude for your home today, and every single day you have the privilege of sleeping in your own warm bed, and making yourself a meal in your own cozy kitchen.

The Most Beautiful Affirmation

Whatever happens in your life, whatever thoughts you may have, whatever changes come your way, know that the universe is always working in YOUR favor, and YOU are SAFE. Let things unfold and don't jump ahead of time. The universal power has a plan for you, and everything will unfold in the right time sequence.